“Why do you seek the living one among the dead? He is not here, but he has been raised.” (Luke 24: 5)

The sense of loss, the raw feelings and the experience of sadness, numbness, loneliness, isolation, abandonment, confusion, and anger are very real at the time of a loved one’s death. For those who are “left behind”, one can also have the experience of a part of them having died while they still move about their daily lives.    

As people of faith, the priest prays from the preface of the Eucharistic Prayer: “for those who believe, life is changed, not ended.”  We believe in the resurrection for our loved ones.  But what about resurrection for those left behind?

Last week, the parish had a gathering of some of those in our parish who have experienced loss due to the death of a loved one.  They talked about actions on the part of others and the parish that were helpful and not helpful.  They brainstormed ideas of things we could do as a parish to assist those who grieve the deaths of loved ones.

One of the things that they shared that gave them life, that helped them in the early days and the later days after the death were calls and visits from friends: empathy from those who “have been there.”  It seems that for those who have “walked in the valley of death,” that it is these who can bring life to those who presently walk in that same valley.  Those who have grieved can bring life by their quiet listening, by their ability to sit with and comfort, not by their words, but by their presence to those who mourn today.  Those who have mourned often have the grace to be able to be people who have answers but are wise enough to know that those who mourn must find their own answers.

People who mourn the death of a loved one can find life in and through others who allow them to grieve whether it is a month or eighteen months: they give no timeline to the grieving.  They are comfortable because they have walked this walk.  They truly bring resurrection to those grieve.

May all of us be resurrection people: people who, through our own sufferings, losses, struggles and crosses, can bring life to those who may presently experience similar sufferings, losses, struggles and crosses. Alleluia!

Fr. Andy Prachar