Disturbed.
     That is the word that came to mind as I read the front page article on a priest of our archdiocese that was removed from active ministry back in the 1990s. I felt and continue to feel disturbed on a number of levels: that this man allegedly abused young men; if the allegations are true, that he violated the trust; that he damaged the life of at least one man highlighted in the article. I feel disturbed that the leadership of the Church and perhaps other organizations allowed this abuse to continue.
     Disturbed is what I feel that the article was so prominent by being placed where no one can miss it. I wish to be clear: I am not defending the priest, the Church or any organization that has been complicit in the abuse of children. The hierarchy involved in the cover-up should not be defended. We sinned. We hurt people and the victims continue to hurt. We violated the trust.
     Disturbed: I question the motives of the people who make the decisions as to the placement of the article. They have the right to put the article wherever they so choose. What is their intent? That is what I question. If their intent is to protect and support the victim: I support that. However, skeptically, do they desire to destroy that which I love?
     I am not a victim of sexual abuse. I don’t know what it is like to have suffered in this way. I can’t imagine the shame and guilt and pain of the individuals who have suffered in this way. I can’t imagine the guilt that parents of the victims have felt. I abhor this disturbing aspect of the life of our Church.
     I love my Catholic Church. The Church is my family. I suffer over the sinful aspects in my own life and in the life of our Catholic Church. I celebrate the goodness and blessings I have experienced in my life and in the life of our Catholic Church. I am a saint and a sinner. We, as Church, are saints and sinners. We can’t defend our sins. Let’s acknowledge and condemn our sinfulness. Let’s do what should be done so that the sin of sexual abuse and its cover up is not repeated. We can stand up for all the good we as Church do and have done. We can stand up for the good priests we know. Let’s not be afraid to stand up for our faith and the good and holy people, including our priests, who make up our Catholic Church.